In a previous post we discussed all the benefits of raising emotionally healthy children and some ways that we can do that.
Here are 4 more ways to promote our kids emotional health:
1. Let them have choices:
I know I talk about choices a lot! It is one of those things that is great for parents and great for kids. Choices help kids feel some control over their lives. Which is obviously good for their emotional health.
Here is how we can offer choices to encourage a feeling of autonomy:
Would you like to go to take a bath now or in 5 minutes?
Do you want to wear your green or blue pants today?
2. Cultivate a feeling of gratefulness:
I have a friend who loves cars. Even though she has a decent one, she always comments on the luxury cars that she passes as she drives her kids to school.
“I would love to have that fancy car!”
“Look at that one, I would love to drive that!”
She slowly realized that she was being a poor role model for her kids. She was laying the groundwork for a life of discontent, of always wanting more. Instead she realized she needed to talk of ways that she was grateful for what she had.
Now, as she drives she concentrates on talking to her kids about school, friends or other neutral topics. She also makes sure to say things like,
“I love our home. It is so comfortable and cozy here.”
“Our car is just what we need. It gets us where we need to go!”
“I am so grateful to have you in my life.”
3.Celebrate mistakes:
To really foster emotional health in our kids we need to let kids make mistakes. Kids need to make mistakes and experience the consequences in order to truly learn. Actually that is how they learn best.
Most parents are fearful of letting kids make mistakes. We want to protect our kids at all costs. We even feel that we are being bad parents if we don’t.
We need to change our attitude and teach kids to handle their mistakes with aplomb.
The best and most simple way to do this is to role model. We need to share with our kids the mistakes we make everyday. We need to show our kids that when we make mistakes we try to use them as opportunities to learn and grow. Kids love to hear that adults make mistakes. We can then discuss with them what we have learned from our errors.
For example:
* “I bought this coat online, from a store that I had never heard of. It was such poor quality. I am going to remember to only buy things from stores that I know I can trust!”
* “This pound cake is the best cake I make. Did I ever tell you it was a mistake? I was making a marble cake but I didn’t have cocoa. I took a risk and made it without the cocoa. I am so glad I did!”
Raising emotionally healthy kids is an important part of parenting. Giving kids choices, cultivating gratefulness within ourselves and teaching kids to value mistakes are all ways that we can ensure our kids grow up to be emotionally healthy adults.