Raising children requires a tremendous amount of patience. Unfortunately, most parents do not have an endless supply of this necessary virtue. All too often we get aggravated and angry with our children. If you want to effectively manage your anger, stop yelling at your kids and keep their self-esteem intact, read on!
I want you to try this simple communication technique that I teach to parents that I work with. You’ll learn how to manage your anger in way that leaves your children’s self-esteem intact.
According to Haim Ginott, parents should talk about their feelings when they are getting mad. He feels that when parents are overwhelmed with irritation and resentment we should not let it fester. If we keep our anger inside and we have no way of letting off steam we end up losing our temper and with that our dignity and authority. He suggests using “I” statements.
Here’s a few examples of how to parent without anger.
For example, if a child steps on a library book that he threw on the floor, instead of saying:
“You are so irresponsible!”
You can try saying:
“I get upset when I see my books on the floor. I want them to be taken care of.”
When a child is running around, instead of saying,
“You are so wild today. You are impossible to work with.”
You can say:
“I get really frustrated when children run around when they should be sitting.”
When a child puts his head on the table and refuses to eat at dinner, instead of saying,
“I can’t believe you are acting this way. You are so rude!”
You can try saying:
“I don’t feel appreciated when I work so hard on dinner and no one is eating.”
These techniques further benefit children because they are a model of appropriate responses and ways to manage their own anger.
Here a few more examples of how to manage anger in more productive ways:
Do you want to learn more ways to Parent Without Anger? Check out my latest class, Simple Ways to Parent Without Anger, here.