There are skills we can use to engage children’s cooperation respectfully while preserving their self-esteem. We can gain cooperation in many situations when dealing with children and adults by using indirect requests, respectful language and neutral, non-confrontational statements.
In our “Parenting Simply” workshop, I teach one of the best techniques to accomplish this. It is called: “Say it With a Word.”
The underlying premise of this communication skill is this: Children do not like being told what to do and how to do it. Children don’t like it when they are accused, warned, blamed, lectured and called names or are subjected to sarcastic remarks. Children, just like adults, like being spoken to respectfully and kindly. Children get defensive and angry when their parents, yell and go on and on about what they did or did not do.
Here are some examples on how to use this skill:
Instead of:
“Are you crazy? Don’t point that sharp stick at him like that! You never watch what you are doing!”
Say it With a Word:
“The Stick!”
Instead of:
“You better put your bike helmet on right now! Do you want to get killed?”
Say it With a Word:
“Your helmet!”
Instead of:
“Have you lost your minds? Don’t you dare horse around at the top of the steps. You can fall and break your head!”
Say it With a Word:
“The Steps!”
Children and especially teenagers like this skill. Brevity is appreciated, especially when they know they are acting inappropriately.
These are just a few of the many effective skills that you will learn in our highly informative, fun, interactive workshops. Come join us for the best information on how to raise your kids! Check our schedule to find out when our next workshop will be held. We are looking forward to seeing you there!